100-Word Challenge: One Last Leap

100 Word Challenge for Grown-UpsWe’re up to the 41st week in the 100-Word Challenge for Grown-Ups series! This week’s prompt is from the picture below. (Do be sure to check out some of the other entries, while you’re over there!)

Old bones exhibit in the National Museum of Scotland

Old bones exhibit in the National Museum of Scotland.
Photo by Julia Skinner

I have to admit that I originally took the prompt to be “bones,” and so wrote something a little bit different. But, with a modicum of tweaking, I think I was able to make this story fit. What do you think?

“One Last Leap”

Fin and Cora, by Mayumi-H

Another doodle-y doodle

Tomorrow, the cloud prince would come. To take her away from the sea, the only life she’d ever known. And the only love.

With naked toes grasping the bluff’s edge, Cora shook her head. Tomorrow, she’d be dead.

A better fate than any mountain palace was the wave-tossed tomb below. There, in that watery hollow of forgotten bones, she’d first felt Fin’s forbidden kiss, and known she’d never love another. She wished him here, if only to feel him one last time.

But she couldn’t wait. Tomorrow was coming.

Closing her eyes, she stepped free…and heard him call her name.

Revisiting Cora and Fin, here, from another short fiction attempt. I changed Cauda’s name to Cora, because it, too, has a relation to water (in Scottish, it means “seething pool,” which is appropriate for her character). And, because it’s easier to pronounce. (I liked the look of “Cauda,” but even I had trouble keeping straight the pronunciation.)

I also don’t want to create a precedent for myself, adding drawings to these flash fiction stories, but I had to try my hand at an underwater moment, since I’m struck by the beauty of it so.

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15 Comments

Filed under Short Stories

15 responses to “100-Word Challenge: One Last Leap

  1. Aww this is a lovely light hearted piece. x

  2. Mystical and lyric, this has a lovely flow to it., a fantasy tale. And that last line. In my minds eye, when you say she stepped free, I saw her stepping free into space, and heard him call her name, too late for that one last embrace.

  3. This was so sad. If only she’d waited just a few more seconds! Had to ead your other piece too – love the idea of Wavewalkers and Landstanders.

    • Thank you, Sally-Jayne. :) So glad that you enjoyed both pieces. I’d love to take the time to explore the world a bit more, in the future.

  4. A very wistful piece. Enjoyed this. I took it that he was calling her from where she was going, not from where she was leaving. And I’m not usually much of an optimist… :)

    • Thank you, Sandra. :)

      I didn’t consider that option…but it makes for a very different perspective. I’ll have to see where that tidbit leads me!

      Thanks again!

  5. Wow she sounds like a water spirit, I love it, you have put so much into such few words!

  6. snagglewordz

    Lovely style here. I interpreted the end slightly differently. To me it felt like she was going to Fin, as opposed to just missing him.

    • Thank you, snagglewordz! You’re not the only one to comment on the ending. I will definitely have to look into that interpretation, if I decide to follow through with this. Thanks again for commenting!

  7. Very well developed…there’s a long history packed into this snippet. Thank you! Nicely done!

    • Thank you, Lorraine! I think a lot of us like to write simple, straightforward vignettes…but sometimes, I just can’t help dropping into a larger world. :)

      Thanks for stopping by!

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