Five Sentence Fiction: “No Girls Allowed”

FACES” was the prompt for this week’s Five Sentence Fiction challenge, from Lillie McFerrin’s blog. We don’t have to use the word itself, just write five sentences with that word as inspiration.

My original entry was much more based within a fandom, much more referential and trying to be clever. So is this one…though, I prefer it over the original.

For all those parents who think they have any kind of control over what their children do….

“No Girls Allowed”

Larry’s only criterion was that he wanted a boy; he even had a name in mind: Thor, after the Norse god of thunder, a childhood heroic fantasy figure (though he’d accept Loki, if the personality fit).

Not to say he didn’t love his girls (and, here, he included Sally, even if he’d never call his feisty, gorgeous wife a “girl” to her face) – he loved them more than anything, in fact – but being the only man in a house with three women took its toll; there were only so many evenings he could spend with Elton, shooting 2D zombies, or with Tom, feigning interest in a single man’s problems, or with Craig, faking his way through a conversation of last night’s football match. He wanted to connect with a male who’d understand him, who’d let him be himself; he didn’t think that was too much to ask.

So, when he’d arrived home again after a two-day stint working the dealers’ room at another convention, and his girls had met him at the door with too-wide, cagy grins, asking him to “keep an open mind, don’t get upset, Daddy, please,” he’d known something was amiss, and was ready to give them an earful.

But, then, they’d pulled out that wobbly-legged, round-faced, chocolate-coloured bundle of fluff, that looked up at him with those dark, trusting eyes and that snub, twitching nose, and that happy, proud smile that promised loyalty and interest no matter how mundane, married, or how much of a geek he was…and all he could say around his creeping smile was, “I guess we can call her Sif.”

By Ltshears (Own work) [CC-BY-SA-3.0 (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0) or GFDL (http://www.gnu.org/copyleft/fdl.html)], via Wikimedia Commons

Good old Sif.

When I think about Larry and Sif, I always think of my own father and our family dog, Muffet. There was some pushback, at first, from our father, at having yet another girl in the house…but, he couldn’t find a more unconditionally loyal and loving companion than that dog.

As much as I enjoy writing for a lot of these prompt challenges…I really have to stop jumping on them so readily, and concentrate on my own work-in-progress novel. I love Ross and Amber too much to let them simply simmer, while I play in other people’s ponds.

That said, what FACES do you like examining?

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8 Comments

Filed under Short Stories

8 responses to “Five Sentence Fiction: “No Girls Allowed”

  1. Awww, just loved this. The narrative style was engaging, and the photo simply adorable. Nice one.

  2. Wow, all of that was 5 sentences? That was so neat, and I really enjoyed the descriptions of each character. I could see all of them. This made me laugh because we keep count of boys vs girls in our house, too–and we include the pets in our count. :)

    Sweet little pup.

    • Thank you, Kate. :)
      I pushed the limits with the semicolons and run-ons, but I did enjoy writing it as somewhat stream of consciousness.
      Yes, Sif is a real sweetie. :D

  3. Whoa, wait, that was five sentences? Dang, you keep improving with each post! But oh, if he did get that son, I can’t tell if he’ll be the coolest kid on the block with the name Thor, or a prime target for teasing. Although, I wouldn’t mind a cool name like that myself!

    What if the girls already named Sif something else?

    • Thanks for the kind words, Spooney.
      I don’t think Sally would let him get away with naming a son Thor, but a dog, she’d likely allow. And -dang!- if you didn’t pick a hole in this one, with that point about the girls naming her first! I’ll have to figure out a way to fix that.

  4. She’s…so…CUTE!! (I have a weakness for dogs, especially the larger breeds.)
    Sorry Larry, but there’s no combating that face.
    There’s an amazing amount of detail and atmosphere packed into these five sentences, to which I am quite impressed. But it still feels natural, and rather home-like.
    Great work as always!

    • Thanks, Shade.
      I did drag out a lot of this, but I liked that rambling flow, almost being in Larry’s head. I’m glad you liked it. :)
      I chose a labrador for Sif’s breed for a variety of reasons…but one of them, at least, was for selfish wishful thinking, remembering our own big dog.

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