Again, for the First Time

I’ve had a long, tiring week of other people telling me what to do and how to do it, so I decided to make a fiction post strictly for myself. Luckily, Kellie Elmore’s Free Write Friday offered me a prompt that kept me from going completely off the rails. As it is, I’ve adhered only marginally to the confines of the prompt, which happens to be “Serendipity.”

Mature situations described below. Nothing graphic, but you should probably skip it if it’s not your cup of tea.

“Again, for the First Time”

Otto Mueller - Stehendes Liebespaar (klein) - ca1919

Stehendes Liebespaar, Otto Mueller [public domain image]


The warmth and comfort of his embrace soothed – the easy rhythm of his gentle snoring even more so – but it was nearly tea, and her belly fluttered a bit at the idea of doing something nice for him. So, easing out from beneath his arm, she scooted to the side of the bed and clambered from the blankets, reaching for her clothes.She dressed with quiet speed, but, turning back toward the bed while straightening her dress, she paused, to drink in the sight of him.

Even tousled and dozing, he was fine, a blond, bronzed demigod built lean, long, smooth, and strong. Just the thought of touching him – of him touching her – made her blood pound once more.

Maybe he was wicked, as Sam had warned. But, she’d never shied from risk. And maybe he wasn’t as refined as the boys who used to try to ply her with their stylish clothes and fancy cars. But, they’d never made her come.

Her nerves tingled at the memory, not even an hour old. He’d done it once. He could do it again. And again, and again, and again…!

She closed her eyes, but not looking didn’t stop her from remembering: the smell of the sea in his hair, the taste of it on his lips, the fine scratch of grains against her naked skin where their bodies came together.

When she’d first set foot in this tiny, unassuming village, she’d never dreamed she’d be standing here, flushed and eager for the touch of a man so unlike her norm. She’d wanted only simplicity after watching Mum wither, a fresh start someplace new. Maybe a pleasant distraction, if one presented itself. But not this stirring, this bubbling, this tremendous burst of feeling in her heart that threatened to turn her small and vulnerable again. Next, she’d be telling this beautiful beast she loved him –

Her belly quivered anew, and she opened her eyes. Her cheeks burned as she looked at him again.

Love.

Pulling her lip between her teeth, she stifled a foolish, girlish giggle.

But first, tea.

Coming off the tips of my fingers, this little moment is unrefined and mostly stream of consciousness. But, isn’t that what free writing is supposed to be all about? If not good, at least unfettered? I hope so. Because I don’t even know what good writing looks like, from me, any more.

I’ve spent so long in Ross’s head, examining one of the story’s moments from Amber’s point of view was a treat. She’s girly and a-flutter and I don’t care that she’s not breaking stereotypes or carrying a banner for the feminist revolution. I like her the way she is. Maybe because she’s me, and I’m tired of the sisterhood getting up in my face for wearing dresses that cling and heels that make my calves pop and enjoying the sensation of my husband’s hands on me in a playful grope.

I should probably end with a question, as I’m supposed to do with a blog post, leading you to comment and engage. But I wrote this for me and I only posted it to keep to my schedule. So, instead, I’ll end with a hope: that you are well, free of the pressures of work and rules, and able to indulge unhindered – just a bit – in your own private universe, at least for a little while.

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13 thoughts on “Again, for the First Time

  1. Sorry to hear that you’ve had a rough week. You always have my ear should need be. Tis the least I can do…

    Anyway, I like the playful, risque Amber in this one. Not only does it fit in well with her in the early goings of ‘Fearless’, it’s part of her side of the story for just how Ross affects her so. And I for one like seeing both sides of the relationship unfold, since it takes two to make one. Besides, Amber just so much fun to read, being so…well, girly I would normally say, but this is a bit of that, a bit of bubbly and a dash of bedroom eyes, blended and served with whipped cream.

    Keep it up, Mayumi!

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    • Thanks for the offer, Shade. No worries, just a lousy run of days. They happen.

      Ross is a blast because he’s pretty simple, all told. Amber is, too, though in a different way. I know she’s not typical for a romance heroine, but I prefer her winsome realism. It’s fun to step back from my main protagonist and see him from another perspective, though. Sam would be another interesting vantage point.

      Thanks for commenting! I’m always grateful to know what others think. 🙂

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  2. I’m sorry for the delayed reply, but I didn’t see your link on the prompt post on my blog. I just happened to find it on Twitter. And so happy I did. This is so subtly erotic, yet lovely and tender. It read like a prologue to a book I would definitely read. Hmmm… another chapter please? 😉

    Thanks for writing!
    kellie

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    • Thanks, Kellie!

      I wasn’t certain I was following the rules, so I didn’t post the link. This is my first time doing your Free Write Friday, but it was a very freeing exercise. Just a bonus to me that you enjoyed it, too. 🙂

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  3. Stream of consciousness pieces intrigue me because they rarely hit middle ground. They either flop or they soar. I think this one soared. And I wonder if it’s because you did write it for yourself rather than thinking of your audience.

    I know that I write without boundaries when I write for myself, which is really how we are supposed to be doing it anyway. But Eris, my inner critic, always tut-tut’s at me, so I pull back, lest I shame myself in front of a reader.

    I really enjoyed the piece, and for stream of consciousness, it didn’t really read like that. Each of Amber’s thoughts connect smoothly and logically. I was able to stick with her for the entire piece, and I didn’t think she went off on a tangent, as so often happens with free writing.

    Sorry you have had a rough week. Hope you’re feeling better. 🙂

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    • Thanks, Kate.

      I don’t free write very often, not like this. I guess it’s my own inner critic/editor, beating his rhythm drum to keep me moving forward with my larger projects. It was a pleasant breath of fresh air, though, to just start typing without worrying about plot progression and the like. It’s also a moment I’ve had in the back of my mind for a while, so it was nice to finally get it down.

      Thanks again. I’m glad it’s a new week! 🙂

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  4. This was so well crafted, maybe free writing is the way for you to go because it so works! Sometimes it’s better to just go with it rather than over-think it isn’t it. Feminism should give us more choices, not less, and if it doesn’t allow us the choice to be girly and feminine when we want to be then what’s the point of it?

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    • Thanks, Vanessa. That’s so kind of you to say!

      I need to remember that point about feminism, the next time someone gets under my skin about it. 🙂

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  5. Given that I’m struggling to catch up from just three missed days of reading other blogs, I’m actually relieved you didn’t end with a question. 😉 Stream of consciousness writing appears to work well for you. Someday, when I have some time again, I really should give it a try.

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    • Thanks for taking the time to stop in, JM!

      Free writing is not something I often do, but, sometimes, you just have to say, heck with it, and write something for yourself. 🙂

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  6. Very nice piece here. Not to slow, but still enough to really see how the scene played out.

    It’s good to see that you’re making sure to enjoy your writing freely. I don’t mind the lack of a question ending, so no need to worry.

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    • Thanks, spooney. I do really need to get back into a state of mind where I’m writing for me, first, and worrying about all the other details later. I feel like it’s been a long time since that happened!

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