Lovestruck and Lost

“Has he ever said, ‘I love you?’”

“No.” An indifferent shrug. That question seemed to nag at everyone else; it wasn’t the first time it had come up in conversation. “But, he doesn’t have to.”

“It doesn’t bother you?”

Again: “No.” And, again, a shrug. “They’re just words.”

“But they’re words you’re supposed to say, when you feel that way.”

A chuckle, but without mirth. “The last time he said those words were to his wife.” A quick shake of the head loosed the congealing doubts, like marbles startled in a jar. “I don’t think he’ll ever say them to anyone again.”

“What about you? Have you ever told him?”

A pause, now, to consider that: the step not taken, for both their fears. Then, another, slower shake. “It wouldn’t change anything. He’d still be who he is. We’d still be where we are.”

“Lovestruck?”

It was a guess. A good one, more accurate than not, come through a witting, impish smile.

It would have been nice to smile back. But it wouldn’t have been true. So, with a stilted, breaking breath, the muttered honest answer:

“Lost.”

My brain is such a mess at the moment, this sort of melancholy piece is all I can get out, right now.

I hope you all are doing all right, out there!

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12 thoughts on “Lovestruck and Lost

  1. Writing can be cathartic, helping us through difficult times. I hope you’re finding that to be the case now. Given your recent pieces, I found myself wondering if the character in question is female (there is the reference to the man’s ex-wife) or perhaps male (and someone has made a major change in his life)….

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    • My writing is all about catharsis, these days, JM. Partly, I don’t want to completely lapse from my blog, but I also want to stay connected with my stories.
      And, the speakers are supposed to be ambiguous- they fit so many people, to me, I couldn’t focus on just one.
      Thanks for stopping by!

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  2. There is a definite weight to this one. It’s blunt, it’s plain, and it’s all too real. It can be very hard to use the word “love” in a case like this, as the very meaning seems tainted or corrupted by association. But there is no denying what stirs in the heart, no matter how hard one chomps down on it.

    I do hope everything is all right on your end. My ear is always open

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    • Thanks, Shade.
      Writing is my cathartic escape, these days. I’m not producing much that’s any good, but it gives me some space to think. That’s worth it, right now.
      I’m okay, just overwhelmed. Hopefully, things will clear up soon.

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    • Thanks, Beth! I strive hard for realism. Though, realism like this can be tough on a person. Good to know I can still write resonant pieces! 🙂

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  3. I, too, can feel her pain-but from a distance. She is definitely warding off the true brunt of her sadness, not willing to really deal with her situation. I do wonder if the wife in question is dead, an ex, or if the MC is having an affair with the guy. Good words, Mayumi.

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    • Thanks, Kate.

      For a one-off, this fit too many characters (and people) I know. That’s one reason why the speaker is left ambiguous. Nice to know it works either way. 🙂

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